I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
