I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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