its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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