Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
