Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
