Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
