At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
