Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
