My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
