I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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