My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
