This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
