I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Houston, we have a squirter
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
