Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
