marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
do nipples grow back?
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