His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
