my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
