operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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