Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
