I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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