after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize