So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
