Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize