Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
