it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
