i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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