if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize