Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize