she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize