my mouth tastes like poor choices
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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