It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
