I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
