Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize