have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
