my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
