It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
