yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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