i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
