They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
