Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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