Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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