So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
