she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
