I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize