your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Come on in and take your pants off
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