Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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