I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
