we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
