Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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