Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
