it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He did a backflip because drugs
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