were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
