In the future we'll all be gay
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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