Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
