Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
