a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
