I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
