Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
